Counselor's Corner

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The focus of our character education at Horizon Elementary School this year is based on RESPECT; which includes respect for self, others, and property. Our focus this month will be on bullying. Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It happens when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving someone out on purpose. We are teaching our students how to recognize, refuse, and report bullying.

Both adults and children have myths and misconceptions about bullying. Very often, these myths and misconceptions prevent us from taking active steps to address the problem. I want to give you some information about these myths to help open up some good conversation between parents and students about bullying. Keep in mind that bullying is about hurtful behavior, not bad people.

One common belief is that bullying really isn’t a big problem. It doesn’t affect that many people in school, and it is just a part of normal childhood – a harmless “rite of passage” that makes children tough and builds character. The truth is research has shown that a substantial percentage of children in school can be affected by bullying, and the hurt caused by bullying can have serious consequences. Children who are bullied tend to experience further rejection from peers, have lower self-esteems, feel more lonely, anxious, and insecure, and often avoid and dislike school. Children who bully also experience negative consequences. They tend to commit more crimes, commit more driving offenses, receive more court convictions, report higher incidents of alcoholism, experience more antisocial personality disorders, use more mental health systems, and commit more spousal abuse. We feel it is very important to help the victim and the bully.

Another myth is the belief that children who bully have low self-esteem. Even popular children and those with average self-esteem may bully. It can be hard for adults to recognize bullying when enacted by children who are generally socially skilled. Still another common myth is that only boys bully. But girls and boys bully. Their behaviors just often take different forms.

Finally, many adults feel that they are already doing everything they can to address bullying. The reality is that adults may not see or be hearing about bullying incidents. We know that a large number of children who are targets of bullying never report the incidents to adults. Perhaps because they feel nothing will come of it if they do report, they might feel afraid or embarrassed, or they might feel like it’s their fault. We need to be educated about bullying and have good open communication. This is something we can all help eliminate.